Fucking Lost Too?

It’s such a shitty feeling to not know what to do, or where to go. What do you want to do with your life or even, what the hell is this thing people call Purpose? Well… If you happen to be here for answers or guidance in this quest… You my friend have made a wrong turn somewhere on this internet, and I can’t help you. Hell, I’m lost too. What I do know, is that we have two options my fellow lost spec within a whole entire universe. The way I see it is we can choose option one: which is to… Stay lost and just survive (No action required).. or option two: Take any path that will lead you out of the darkness (Requires hard work and pissed off moments). Now, go ahead and choose. I’ve just had to, and hell, pissed off moments here I come. I’m so fucking done with riding in the darkness of lost spaces. Sitting in wasted land but time is all that’s wasted. I want out of this nothingness, and so this, this is my attempt to pick up a flashlight and find my own way out, out of the continued darkness that leave’s me trapped and feeling like, what am I supposed to be doing, or where am I supposed to be going? How do I build the life I want to see for myself and my family and what in the fucking hell is Purpose and how do I get me some? I’m sick of it so, here goes nothing, or should I say the start of something.

Ok now, first things first…

Where to even start?  Ever want to create something and you simply just don’t know where to start, or how to start? That’s me right about now while writing this. How do I even start to introduce myself to you besides the usual somewhat uncomfortable yet simple, Hey, I’m Britney also known as Bee Lottie and I’m a 33 yr old married, mother of teenage twins from MD who’s also a new somewhat shitty artist and writer, and I’ve lived with a chronic illness since I was a baby. I’m a lover of food, good music, and hearing other people’s stories. I’m inspired by trauma and beauty, pain and pleasure, and the good, bad and fucked up parts of life, since they all have a place in my life. I tend to see things a little differently then other’s so there’s no doubt in my mind and shouldn’t be any in yours that some of my readers will feel triggered, uncomfortable and will absolutely disagree with my views and opinions about life, sex, families, our healthcare system and our society as a whole, and that’s ok.. I guess. Lol, let’s just keep it respectful and share information. I’m just trying to carve out my own little space on this huge platform we call the internet. Maybe find a tiny little corner of this world to go where there are like minded people, who are or who have dealt with similar things, and who are logical, fair, and understanding. Now, I know that might seem impossible in a world where sooo much shit just makes no sense at all but who knows… maybe I’ll come upon something rare. I hope to share my story, document some of my journey, and maybe help someone out along the way. *Takes a breath in relief* Ok… the hardest part is over and out of the way. For me, the hardest part of anything whether its starting something new like this or making art, writing or just creating in some form, is to start. It’s the hardest part that must be done in order for anything to be. So new reader, if you have something you want to do, get the hardest part out of the way first.. just start. Doesn’t matter how, or with what just.. begin. Oh and btw.. welcome to Lottie’s corner with Bee Lottie. Try to be patient with a newbie to art, writing, blogging and sharing my stories and life. I’m not true to this just yet, I’m new to this so hang in there and bear with me. We will be in this together, hopefully, or hell maybe no one will ever read this but, at least I started.

Till next time, Pray for the patience to deal with life and figuring shit out, manifest that patience, because I know I am.